COPING WITH LOSS
The decision to move forward after a pregnancy loss is a very personal one. There are a lot of thoughts and emotions that go along with deciding to try to conceive again and, hopefully, a subsequent pregnancy. You may feel anxious, worried, unsure, or nervous. You may be excited and happy to get back on your journey. Whatever you are feeling, know that it is perfectly normal! There’s no formula for when to start again, no way it “should” or “needs” to be done. It’s completely up to you.
We realize that this is a time that may be filled with a lot of questions and uncertainty. In order to help guide you, we’ve compiled information from women who have been there before you and have shared their experiences. We hope this helps as a starting point in your decision to start trying to conceive again and we wish you the best of luck!
TRYING TO CONCEIVE AFTER A LOSS
One of the biggest questions couples face after experiencing a pregnancy loss is “when is the right time to start trying to conceive again?” Naturally you are worried about the physical and emotional toll it might take plus the fear of actually getting pregnant again – and having another loss.
Unfortunately there’s no right answer here and even doctors’ recommendations can vary. So the answer for when it’s the right time is simply “whenever you decide it is.” Depending on how far along you were when you experienced your loss as well as if any medical procedures were done, your doctor will likely recommend waiting 1-2 cycles before trying again. And some may even suggest a year. Keep in mind that for some women, your period may not return for many weeks after the end of your pregnancy but it is still possible to conceive during that time.
Although most women are cleared physically to start TTC at the 1-2 cycle mark, it is often times the emotional factor that plays a bigger role. Many couples are still handling the sadness, anger or bitterness that can come with a loss and they have a lot of doubt and anxiety about possibly going through that again.
Trying to conceive after miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss. can be a very isolating process. It is often a more emotional journey than it was before and it’s easy to have the mindset that because pregnancy happened once, it will naturally happen again. While this is the case for some women, many others struggle to conceive again for a variety of reasons. It’s important to remember that your body can change after a loss, especially during those first few cycles so you may not have the same patterns as before. Even if your cycle occurs like clockwork, it’s a good idea to go back to basics such as charting, taking your temperature, and testing for ovulation. You may be surprised to find “a new normal.”
Some couples never really quite feel ready to start trying again but know that in order to reach their goal, they have to at some point. It’s ok to feel unsure and there’s certainly nothing wrong with taking a longer break, it does not mean that you want a child any less. Whatever you decide, know that it is the “right” answer.